Adventures With Autism and Adopting a Healthier Lifestyle

Archive for the ‘trying times’ Category

Welcome to Twitter: Now With Hatespeech!

First of all, please forgive my long absence from blogging. I’ve been very distracted lately. I’m here now, though. 🙂

I want to catch you up on something that happened to me at the end of September.

The back story would be far too complicated and long to put here, plus, it identifies me quite a bit. This blog is semi-anonymous, after all (I say semi, as people who know me do come here). I’ve done this mostly because of my husband and his work. He doesn’t like personal stuff put out there too much, so I keep his name and mine hidden to accomplish that goal.

ANYway, I’ll give you the “nutshell” version of the back story: there’s a person I used to know who is relatively well-known (more so 20 years ago, but, still…). A fan/groupie/minion of this person (from here on referred to only as “Fangroupieminion”) likes to attack people via Twitter if they happen to say anything about said former friend that she deems inappropriate. And her definition of inappropriate and yours are likely nowhere NEAR the same, believe me.

So, at the end of last month, someone (not me) started a new Twitter account with the express purpose of posting an unflattering (yet 100% honest) video of this “well-known” person. Fangroupieminion decided this fake account was mine and began to attack according to that assumption.

Straight out of the gate, I was called an “Autism lover.” Umm… okay. Loving a child with Autism does not mean I love Autism. Just so we’re clear on that. In fact, I hate… loathe… detest Autism. Such a strange thing to call someone. What the heck? Is that the “(N-word) lover” for this millennium, or what? Besides, even if I was in lust with Autism, that would be between Autism and I. It’s private. 😉

Next, she said, “…like the mom of a re re you are.” Okay, getting into dangerous territory there, but refraining a bit.

Then it got worse. A lot worse.
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Holding myself to the same standard

This week, I realized something: I’m kind of a hypocrite.

I tell my daughter things like, “calm down,” “be patient,” or “don’t scream” almost daily. However, do I hold myself to that same standard? Do I follow the rules I try to set for her? This week, I was reminded that no, I don’t.

One day this week, things sort of blew up. I was being beaten on and screamed bloody murder at for not complying with Emily’s desire to carry around the entire bag/container of something instead of the portion I give her (that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but if you saw the amount of food I have to throw out because it’s smashed, smeared, or otherwise spilled all over the floor, you’d understand). After trying to explain the situation calmly several times and not being listened to because she was shrieking, I put her in her time out/calm down spot, in which she stayed about 0.3 seconds before flying at me again, smacking and screaming.

Finally, I screamed loud enough to be heard over her: “Just sit DOWN!!!!!!”

I realized right away that I’d just done something bad. You really shouldn’t SCREAM at any child, much less one with Autism. I walked away to collect myself so I wouldn’t repeat the mistake. I’d clearly reached my limit, I needed to remove myself from the situation.

I came back about two minutes later to find Emily sitting quietly at the dining room table (her “calm down” spot), with her little baggie of Gorilla Munch and her sippy cup. I praised her for doing such a good job, and she yelled an echo of, “just sit DOWN!!” back at me with her teary eyes.

So, I sat down in the chair next to hers and told her…

“Mommy has to sit in the calm down chair, too, because she yelled at you and that’s very bad.”

She smiled.
I smiled.
We moved on.

Can I be frank?

Autism sucks.

I want it dead and away from my child and my family. And yours (if you want that, some don’t).

The past week or so has been a total nightmare and I just want it to STOP!

Emily was making such great progress, and now… regression. A big one!

We’ve even had another major potty training setback. She actually screamed, “no potty break! diaper change!!” at me the other day, then proceeded to pee all over the bathroom. She’s gone pee on the potty a total of once since that day. Good times. Good times. Especially when money is tight, and your supply of GoodNites was expected to last a heck of a lot longer. 😦

She’s done some bizarre behaviors this week. Even for her, they’re odd. Based on many of her symptoms (some of which are TMI, so I’ll spare you), my best guess is a yeast overgrowth/infection.

I got her a new, stronger probiotic… one that doesn’t say “may contain traces of milk protein” in tiny print. Ugh. How’d I miss that?

Here’s to hoping she heals from this and can get back to where she was.

Not a good day

So, today was bad. Emily has been a screaming, violent mess. *sigh*

Judging by many of her symptoms: demanding sweets of all types (when I say no, she smacks me, then switches to a different sweet), being grumpy in general, saying “owie” when I clean her “girl parts,” I’d say there’s a yeast overgrowth problem. Sugar feeds yeast, so she tends to crave sweets when there’s an issue.

So, upping probiotics to kick it out.

Whatever it is, I don’t enjoy being beaten by a kid who hits as hard as an adult. Not fun.

Holy regression, Batman!

*sigh* So, you know that kid who’d been making all sorts of progress?

The one who randomly started stringing more words together? The one who hasn’t hit herself or others in ages? The one who started sleeping on such a great schedule? The one who was suddenly easier to parent?

She’s gone.
Hopefully, she’s only on vacation.

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“THOSE children…”

Emily dozed off in the car, then wanted to be held/carried in the grocery store, because she was sleepy. I couldn’t manage it, so I asked her to ride in the cart. Meltdown ensued.

This older woman was mumbling to herself, I could only make out a few words here and there (I heard the word “child” several times). Then came, “those children shouldn’t be out anywhere.”

I pretended I didn’t hear her and continued to talk to my daughter. What would’ve been the point of a battle of wits, when she was clearly unarmed?

Rough day

Ugh. I cannot get this kid to stop with obsessive behaviors today!!

She’s playing in water, splashing all over our bathrooms, tossing cups of water all over, etc. Water is an all the time thing with her, but it’s super intense today.

She also has a new obsession with scratching the grout on our floor tiles until “dust” forms. I’ve even caught her trying to eat the dust!!

She’s also only wanting to eat ice cream. I’m having to practically force other foods on her to get her away from it.

It’s a rough one.